Here’s a list of things I hate, updated between approximately 1999 and 2002:
France, the rest of Europe, bills, hockey, basketball, soccer, Nutella, hoop earrings, jean shorts, stupid people, motivational speakers, inspirational books, Communists, bad writers, people who constantly give advice without being asked, Everclear, Suburbia, people who move to the United States and refuse to learn English, bad grammar, Riverdance, American cars, swing music, people who refuse to think, inefficient government monopolies, car commercials, people who think they have some sort of right to make me speak to them, AOL, slow drivers, slow walkers, slow people in general, science, social conservatism, populism, people who distrust ideology, nihilism, Spice Girls, people who have said “girl power” in a serious tone of voice, white trash, New Jersey (except for the Jersey shore), bushy hair, people who can’t take hints, people who hate introspection, people who think I’m “mean,” cream cheese, Pat Collins (a
local newscaster in DC), local news in general, Smashing Pumpkins, Titanic, people who saw Titanic more than once, Leonardo DiCaprio, Adam Sandler, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, women’s hygeine commercials, awards shows, vegetarians, vegans, Federal anti-trust and anti-monopoly legislation, people who apologize when they didn’t do anything wrong, Dan Quayle, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, all of Rousseau’s ideas (including the Noble Savage), moral equivalency, Pepco, Hollywood, Ngugi, Virginia Woolf, 70s haircuts, 70s fashion in general, those horrible truck-cars (I think they’re called El Caminos. They belong in Nevada.), people who think it is the responsibility of the United States to intervene in the affairs of other countries, U2, Cal Ripken, physics, Freud, pollen, Keanu Reeves, Chris Farley, all of Chris Farley’s movies, David Spade, all of David Spade’s movies, science fiction, Jon Stewart, the Daily Show without Craig Kilborn, Elton John, Princess Diana, Kevin Bacon, DJs, people who say “it’s not the heat – it’s the humidity,” Will Smith, Will Smith’s annoying habit of featuring a hit song for every hit movie, Ricky Martin, the fact that no one realizes that Ricky Martin is an American, Hawaiian flower shirts, Road Rules, the term “thinking out of the box,” disco, Weird Al Yankovic, Trainspotting, Braveheart, all movies about Scotland, people who complain about taxes but work for the government!, egg yolk, vegetables, Carrot Top, Star Wars, Star Trek, John Candy, Tom Cruise, the Motion Picture Association of America, people who insist on including their college degrees in their signatures, Fresh Fields, Billy Joel, Chuck Norris, Rosie O’Donnell, Regis Philbin, people who think Regis Philbin is worthy of their attention, wind chill, astrology, the Village People, ABBA, Bee Gees, Willie Nelson, canker sores, John Stuart Mill, George Michael, floppy disks, people who rev their car or motorcycle engines, Saturday Night Fever, X-Files villains, Joan Rivers, John Cusack, J.R.R. Tolkein, Noam Chomsky, Ben Stiller, Disney, Abe Pollin, Upright Citizens Brigade, Minnie Driver, Phil Collins, Bill Murray, Sting, clubs, vodka, Robin Williams, Macauly Culkin, Janet Reno, Weezer, art museums, the olympics, drum machines, South Park, Phil Donahue, people coughing or sneezing in my general direction, AIPAC, people who think that Israel would be doomed without AIPAC, Celine Dion
Recent Comments