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Have you ever seen a fat albino? I was just in the supermarket and an albino was in line behind me (purchasing a single beer). He was tall and skinny, like every albino I’ve ever seen. It suddenly occurred to me that there might be no fat albinos out there. So if you know any fat albinos, [...] Since I’ve written here recently about plagiarism, this article caught my eye: The Deeper Fakery of Couric’s Plagiarism – and, even more so, its subtitle: “Why original thought is harder to steal.” I probably haven’t watched a network evening news report in any country or language in close to two decades. Or maybe I have, but [...] If you like Faith in Nathan, you will love Alex In India. Check it out – it’s pretty cool. And I don’t only say that because he’s my brother. There are three unique qualities that seem to be shared by plagiarists of all stripes. First, a plagiarist thinks that the general public is as ignorant as he is, instead of just the limited audience that he’s trying (and usually succeeding) to dupe. This is probably the trait that drives him to plagiarize in the first [...] It is true that I am the eyes and ears for a lot of people who are so daft that they haven’t moved to Israel yet (don’t worry, I’m working on them), as well as the fingers, not to mention the head shoulders kneees and toes, knees and toes. Because they rely on me for up [...] I wasn’t alive when Kennedy was shot, and I wasn’t present when Rabin was shot. I’ve never been in the neighborhood when aliens abducted a redneck, a yeti was tracked or Elvis was sighted, all to my great disappointment – at my inability to proffer firsthand eyewitness evidence in direct contradiction of the lunatic conspiracy [...] I am tagged. Accent: Generic American. Slow, with a few regional peculiarities (I still say “pinguin” instead of “penguin”). Booze: The Shyster is my all-time favorite drink. It’s sweet rum (the clear kind) with Mountain Dew. I’ve never met anyone who didn’t like it. But, for medical reasons, I don’t drink alcohol anymore. Chore I hate: By definition, [...] One sign that I am totally out of touch with American culture, particularly American popular youth culture: I learned about the shocker after reading an article that mentioned it in Slate. Or maybe I’m just getting old? Warning: the above links contain information not intended for people who get offended easily. I like growing hair on my face. In part, it’s a shortcut to masculinity, a way to feel manly without hunting, fixing car engines or playing touch football on the front lawn on Thanksgiving morning. It also reflects a certain hippy ethic-aesthetic, that we should keep what we’ve got and minimize attempts to alter, destroy, [...] I am, when I have access to a television, a compulsive 24-hour news junky, and what I think I have in common with all other compulsive 24-hour news junkies is our compulsive need to know the news, 24 hours a day. That’s why I love “the crawl,” the constant rotating headlines at the bottom of [...] |
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