Customer Service Hell is an experience familiar to anyone from a civilized country who’s come to live in a decivilized or not-yet-civilized one. Israel in particular is home to several monopolistic companies that are fond of abusing their customers in the most heinous ways. Lately, however, I have been subjected to the awful and disorienting nightmare of Customer Service Purgatory, and it has been brought to me by Iomega, the manufacturers of one of my external hard drives.
Some background: I bought the drive about a year and a half ago via Amazon. It was shipped to New York. It is still under warranty. It uses a notoriously crappy power supply with a peculiar, non-standard four-pin serial port.
Three weeks ago on Friday, there was an electrical surge in my apartment and a lot of my gadgets were messed up, including the power supply for my hard drive. After shabbat, I tried visiting Bug, evidently the only store that sells Iomega products in Israel, to buy a new power supply from them. I explained to them what happened and what I wanted, and they looked at me like I’d just handed them a spare tire and a paper clip and told them to fly me to the moon. I left there and came home, where I opened a support ticket with Iomega online.
Below is my ongoing conversation with Iomega’s customer support:
17 October
Hi, there was an electrical surge in my apartment and my hard drive’s power brick seems not to be working. I understand my hard drive is still in warranty and I’d like to know how I can go about getting a replacement power brick.
19 October
Dear Natan Gesher,
Thank you for contacting Iomega Technical Support. Please note that your incident number is xxxxxx-xxxxxx.
I am going to create something called a Web RMA (warranty exchange / shipment) for a replacement PSU. This will allow you to create your own shipping details in our system. Please follow the steps that we send you to complete the Web RMA.
If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us by replying to this e-mail.
Kind Regards,
Jordan
Iomega Technical Support.
And then:
Dear Natan Gesher,
Thank you for using Iomega’s Online Support Services. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience you may have experienced using your Iomega product.
Unfortunately, we have determined that your Iomega product should be replaced at this time. For fastest service, an Iomega Technical Support representative has already started an RMA to replace your product and we simply need your shipping information to complete this RMA.
To automatically complete this RMA at any time, day or night, you can now submit your shipping information to us securely through our Online Customer Support website! Follow these easy steps and your RMA will be processed in just a few minutes:
1. Go to https://iomega-eu-en.custhelp.com/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
2. Log in using your e-mail address and “My Support” password.
3. Enter your shipping address.
4. Submit your RMA and you’re done!Once your RMA has been submitted and processed, you will receive an e-mail confirmation with further instructions for returning your product and what to expect.
Thank you again for using Iomega’s Online Support Services!
Sincerely,
The Iomega Support Team
At this point, I followed the instructions to enter my mailing address (at work) and received the following confirmation:
Dear Natan Gesher,
Thank you for using Iomega’s Online Support Services to automatically complete your RMA online! Your RMA has been successfully submitted and is being prepared for shipment to:
Natan Gesher
[my mailing address]Your RMA Number is: EUxxxxxxxxxx
You will receive a separate e-mail notifying you when we have shipped your RMA from our warehouse, which will include information on how you can track your order.
If you have been asked to return any product(s) to Iomega, you will receive return shipping instructions with your order.
Thank you again for using Iomega’s Online Support Services!
Sincerely,
The Iomega Support Team
Two days later, on 21 October:
Dear Natan Gesher,
The following provides information about the shipment of all or part of your replacement product under RMA Number EUxxxxxxxxxx:
Product Description:
Shipment Date: 2009-10-21 06:51:00
Shipment Tracking #: NOT APPLICABLE FOR PR1
Shipping Method: PR1
Shipping Address:
Natan Gesher
[my mailing address]You can track your shipment by clicking on the shipping method link and entering the tracking number.
TO AVOID HAVING YOUR CREDIT CARD CHARGED:
Important! If Iomega instructed you to return your product AFTER receiving this replacement, it is imperative that you promptly return your old product. If Iomega does not receive your returned product within two weeks, you will be charged the full replacement cost of this product.If you have already returned your old product, please disregard this note.
Sincerely,
The Iomega Support Team
Of course, I was worried that they indicated I could track the shipment but also that they’d chosen a shipping method without tracking. Still, I didn’t get upset because at least I wasn’t paying! Then more than a week went by and I started to wonder what was going on, so I wrote to them again on 29 October:
Hi, I see that the power supply was shipped eight days ago, but I wasn’t given any tracking information, so I can’t tell where it is. Can someone shed any light on this for me? Specifically, about how long should I have to wait?
This is unfortunately when I got stuck with “Jordan.” He told me to be patient:
Thank you for contacting Iomega Technical Support. Please note that your incident number is xxxxxx-xxxxxx .
Please allow up to 10 working days for the delivery as this was shipped via post.
If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us by replying to this e-mail.
Kind Regards,
Jordan
Iomega Technical Support.
I couldn’t actually see any reason why a package from Europe should take 10 business days (ie, two weeks) to reach Israel. After harassing the poor person whose job it is to receive the company’s mail, and visiting the post office three times, I finally contacted Iomega again on 5 November:
Hi Jordan,
Ten working days and more than two full weeks have now passed since the power supply was supposed to have been shipped, but there’s been no sign of it at my post office (I went there today and they allowed me to inspect their ledger).
Moreover, it’s been nearly three weeks since it broke and I haven’t been able to use it. This is pretty frustrating to me, because if I’d known it would never arrive, I could just have ordered a replacement part from China and had it delivered by now.
Please tell me what is going on and when I’m going to get the package!
Jordan’s reply:
Dear Natan Gesher,
Thank you for contacting Iomega Technical Support. Please note that your incident number is xxxxxx-xxxxxx .
I am sorry, I sis not realise you were in Israel. For this you usually need to return to the reseller. However, it seems that for some reason it shipped, so I am unsure of hen it will arrive.
If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us by replying to this e-mail.
Kind Regards,
Jordan
Iomega Technical Support.
WTF!!!!!!!
I need to return to the reseller?!? What does that even mean? Iomega takes responsibility to replace a broken part for people who live in some countries, but not for those in others?
In any case, the reseller was Amazon.com; I’m not familiar with Amazon having a storefront and/or being willing or even able to accept a broken Iomega hard drive power supply, let alone replacing one.
Your uncertainty about the circumstances of the shipment is quite unsettling. Am I just to assume that it was shipped with insufficient postage and that it will eventually be returned to you? Is this your way of saying that you don’t intend to replace the power supply as you said you would, and that I’m just out of luck?
Moreover, whose responsibility was it to underscore my location? I’d think it would be quite satisfactory to give you my complete mailing address and let you read the country line for yourself. Am I really to believe that “Israel” was completely overlooked when I submitted my address, when it was printed, when the package was shipped and then again last week when I asked you why I hadn’t received it yet?
My opinion of Iomega two weeks ago was very high, when I ran around my office to tell all of my coworkers how happy I was that your customer support was so outstanding. Last week it took a dip, when I realized there was no way to track the package and consequently no way for me to know when it would arrive, or if it would. Now it is shattered, since if I understand correctly what you’ve wrote, you only helped me by accident and then you have no desire to see that I even receive it – after waiting all this time.
Is that it? Is there anything else you can do for me? If not – is there anything else that ANYONE in Iomega can do for me?
I thought this would shake Jordan up a little bit. Boy, was I wrong:
Dear Natan Gesher,
Thank you for contacting Iomega Technical Support. Please note that your incident number is xxxxxx-xxxxxx .
Of course we can still assist you, but as I said, the usual proceedure is that you would return to the reseller. Because it is 10 working days in Europe, it may take slightly longer to get to your location.
If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us by replying to this e-mail.
Kind Regards,
Jordan
Iomega Technical Support.
That is when I crossed from extreme disappointment to anger:
Jordan, I’m sorry, but your answer was not satisfactory and I do have further queries.
For starters, how much postage was affixed to the package when it was shipped? Is that postage enough for it to reach me in Israel? Were the proper customs forms/declarations also attached? It seems to me that if it was addressed to me in Israel but prepared for a shipment within Europe, there’s a good chance it will never reach me here.
Unfortunately, Jordan was still being patient with me and consequently obstructing my attempts to resolve the issue:
Dear Natan Gesher,
Thank you for contacting Iomega Technical Support. Please note that your incident number is xxxxxx-xxxxxx .
Please understand that I am Technical Support and do not have all Logistics details. I cannot change the policy. I am sorry.
If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us by replying to this e-mail.
Kind Regards,
Jordan
Iomega Technical Support.
I was by this point totally uninterested in continuing to deal with Jordan:
If there’s someone who has the answers to my questions, please bring my query to him, or transfer it to him so he can answer me himself.
Quite a persistent fellow, Jordan kept coming back with more ways to say he was not going to help me:
Dear Natan Gesher,
Thank you for contacting Iomega Technical Support. Please note that your incident number is xxxxxx-xxxxxx .
I am sorry, this is just policy. Your PSU is on its way. Please give the shipment some more time.
If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us by replying to this e-mail.
Kind Regards,
Jordan
Iomega Technical Support.
Now I tried to shake it up a bit:
It seems to me that you have no idea if it’s on its way or not, and I’m sure it can’t be policy for you not to tell me if the package was shipped with enough postage. Of course I’d be happy to give it more time, but no amount of time will convince a mailman to deliver a package without adequate postage.
Please find out how much postage was affixed to the package and also please tell me specifically from where it was sent (city and country). I will contact the postal service in that country to find out if there was enough postage for it even to reach me.
In classic hedgehog fashion, Jordan retreated to his script of acceptable answers. India is full of hedgehogs; I bet “Jordan” is an Indian:
Dear Natan Gesher,
The following provides information about the shipment of all or part of your replacement product under RMA Number EUxxxxxxxxxx:
Product Description:
Shipment Date: 2009-10-21 06:51:00
Shipment Tracking #: NOT APPLICABLE FOR PR1
Shipping Method: PR1
Shipping Address:
Natan Gesher
[my mailing address]You can track your shipment by clicking on the shipping method link and entering the tracking number.
TO AVOID HAVING YOUR CREDIT CARD CHARGED:
Important! If Iomega instructed you to return your product AFTER receiving this replacement, it is imperative that you promptly return your old product. If Iomega does not receive your returned product within two weeks, you will be charged the full replacement cost of this product.If you have already returned your old product, please disregard this note.
Sincerely,
The Iomega Support Team
For what it’s worth, I was a customer support representative for two years in three different companies, and one of the most basic rules I followed, even when the company had no specific policy to this effect, was: never send a customer the same email twice. If it doesn’t answer the question the first time, it certainly won’t the second time. Evidently, Jordan never learned that rule. So I decided to let him know that I wouldn’t accept his non-answer:
This is an exact copy of the information I received when it was shipped. As you can see, it doesn’t answer any of my questions.
Please answer my questions.
Finally, finally, finally, finally I managed to shake Jordan and get him to stop sending me stupid, bogus template replies:
Dear Natan Gesher,
Thank you for contacting Iomega Technical Support. Please note that your incident number is xxxxxx-xxxxxx .
I have been answering your question. There is no answer to some because I do not work in logistics. I have tried to explain his. I will NOT explain this again, Sir.
If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us by replying to this e-mail.
Kind Regards,
Jordan
Iomega Technical Support.
His refusal to lift a finger to help was at least better than his refusal to understand what was going on around him. So I told him exactly what he needed to do to fulfill his responsibility:
Jordan,
Put your keyboard and mouse down, pull back your chair from your desk and walk across your office to the logistics department. Then ask them the questions I’ve asked you. Feel free to print a copy of this exchange so you can be sure not to miss anything. Then write me back with the answers.
By this point I’d come to realize that dealing with Jordan was utterly useless, but I resolved to continue emailing him to demand some resolution in the hopes that another Iomega employee would intervene and save the day. Meanwhile, I ordered a replacement power supply from an online computer store based in California, at a total cost to me of $47.84 (this includes shipping). I could have done this nearly three weeks ago, and I’d already have received the damn power supply, if I hadn’t bothered to wait for Iomega’s crap customer service department.
The next day, Jordan was back at his old tricks:
Dear Natan Gesher,
Thank you for contacting Iomega Technical Support. Please note that your incident number is xxxxxx-xxxxxx .
The logistic department is in a different location. I have explained the situation.
Please return to the reseller for further exchange.
If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us by replying to this e-mail.
Kind Regards,
Jordan
Iomega Technical Support.
I had no intention of letting him shirk his responsibility so easily:
Jordan, as you may have noticed, you and I are in different locations, yet we still manage to communicate (though I don’t know to what extent what you’re doing qualifies as communication). If you truly feel unable to communicate with the logistics department because they’re in another location, just give me their telephone number or email address and I’ll contact them myself.
Still doing anything possible to avoid getting me answers, Jordan went back to his script:
Dear Natan Gesher,
Thank you for contacting Iomega Technical Support. Please note that your incident number is xxxxxx-xxxxxx.
The arrangement we have with resellers for your location is that they deal with all exchanges.
The RMA was created without this knowledge and the item shipped anyway.
You get support for technical issues from us and exchanges from the reseller.
Because of this policy, I am sorry but nothing can be done.
I cannot keep explaining this. I am sorry, but this is our policy.
I think that you should get the PSU, but I cannot be sure.
I advise you to return to the reseller for further assistance on this matter.
If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us by replying to this e-mail.
Kind Regards,
Jordan
Iomega Technical Support.
I’m a big fan of “I think that you should get the PSU, but I cannot be sure.” Thanks, that makes me feel great. I decided to share with Jordan some information from my simultaneous descent into dealing with Amazon’s customer service:
Jordan, the Iomega resellers in Israel do not sell the hard drive in question, nor do they carry the power supply for it. Nor do I think you’ve been reading what I wrote, because I specifically told you that I bought it from Amazon.com and not from a store in Israel.
For what it’s worth, I did contact Amazon’s customer service department, and they told me: “Because more than 30 days have passed since you received this item, we can no longer accept a return. Our return policy states that within 30 days of delivery of your order, you may return any merchandise in new condition, with the original packaging and accessories, or any defective merchandise, for a full refund.”
Clearly that’s not the situation here. My power supply broke and it was under warranty. You have acknowledged responsibility to deal with the problem. Now deal with it!
Almost immediately, Jordan replied with proof that he’s an Indian:
Dear Natan Gesher,
Thank you for contacting Iomega Technical Support. Please note that your incident number is xxxxxx-xxxxxx .
I understand what you are saying and I can see the problem here. The power supply was shipped to your location. Please can you wait to see if it arrives? There was one sent to your address. As I explained before, because you are in Israel it can take longer to arrive than somewhere in Europe. The 10 working days is standard for Europe, but I do not know how long to get to your location. This is why I indly ask for some patience.
You have been shipped to, I just don’t know when it will arrive. If something is in transit, there is no way of knowing when it will arrive after it leaves the Netherlands.
If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us by replying to this e-mail.
Kind Regards,
Jordan
Iomega Technical Support.
“Please can you wait to see if it arrives?” Only an Indian man could have written that sentence. Sorry India, I love you – you’re great at being the world’s biggest democracy and I eat your chicken curry and rice all the time – but your men always write in the same tone: supplicating.
Unfortunately, there’s only one way to deal with a person like this, and that is to treat him like a servant who’s done something bad enough to get himself fired. So after Shabbat, I got mean:
Would you please take your head out of your ass?
IF THE PACKAGE DOESN’T HAVE ENOUGH POSTAGE, IT WILL NEVER ARRIVE!
I see no reason to wait for a package that’s never going to arrive. Contact the logistics center and find out whether it was sent with enough postage to reach Israel.
Then on Sunday 8 November I learned that a package was waiting for me at the post office. The next morning I went to pick it up. It was the power supply from Iomega. Hmmmm.
Before I even had a chance to take it home and check if it worked, I got this very strange message from Jordan:
Dear Natan Gesher,
Your RMA
has been sent to: Natan Gesher
[my mailing address]We remain at your service for any questions you may have.
Sincerely,
Jordan
Iomega Technical Support
It seemed to me that he had decided just to keep sending that response until I stopped bothering him. But I wasn’t so concerned, since I had already gotten the power supply. That night I took it home and it worked, so I figured the following day I’d send Jordan a message to tell him that he’s still an idiot, but I’d gotten the power supply and didn’t need to keep emailing him.
But he emailed me first:
Dear Natan Gesher,
The following provides information about the shipment of all or part of your replacement product under RMA Number EUxxxxxxxxxx:
Product Description:
Shipment Date: 2009-11-10 05:06:00
Shipment Tracking #: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Shipping Method: UPS http://www.ups.com
Shipping Address:
Natan Gesher
[my mailing address]You can track your shipment by clicking on the shipping method link and entering the tracking number.
TO AVOID HAVING YOUR CREDIT CARD CHARGED:
Important! If Iomega instructed you to return your product AFTER receiving this replacement, it is imperative that you promptly return your old product. If Iomega does not receive your returned product within two weeks, you will be charged the full replacement cost of this product.If you have already returned your old product, please disregard this note.
Sincerely,
The Iomega Support Team
Did you catch that? Oh, you missed it? Here, I’ll highlight it for you:
Shipment Date: 2009-11-10 05:06:00
Shipment Tracking #: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Shipping Method: UPS http://www.ups.com
That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. Instead of just checking to see if the package was going to get to me, which would require approximately 30 seconds of thought, one telephone call and five minutes of his time, Jordan just went ahead and sent me another power supply – this time by UPS!
I was floored. I have no idea what to say. At this point, I have one working power supply for my hard drive. Soon I’ll receive a second, which I ordered online when it seemed like Jordan and Iomega had completely failed me. Then eventually I will receive a third, which didn’t even get put in the mail until after I had already received the first.
At least I won’t have this problem again…
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