Football is a violent sport, and it attracts people who can tolerate a certain level of violence. Because there’s a serious amount of testosterone in football, anyone who can’t handle getting offended is advised to choose another sport (like basketball). Today, Saint Joe tarnished all of football by wrongly apologizing for calling Cowboys fans ugly. And why was he wrong to apologize? First of all, “Dallas people” are ugly. My friend Stephanie F., who is from Dallas but not at all ugly, informed me when we first met in August 1999 and many times since then that Dallas County sells more blond hair dye than the entire State of California. And everyone familiar with my theory that ugliness is caused when hair color is unnaturally lighter than skin color will have to agree that this statistic implies that Dallas residents, and therefore Cowboys fans, are disproportionately ugly. Side note: Stephanie used to resemble Scully from the X-Files, but she doesn’t anymore.
More importantly, what has this world come to when one of the most intense rivalries in all of professional sports can’t be entertained with one team’s coach saying the other team’s fans are ugly? It’s not like he used profanity, insulted their mothers or hit below the belt, and I certainly don’t think the “ugly” comment was going to escalate beyond words, or at least career-ending concussions (sorry Troy Aikman).
At the very least, maybe we all need just to keep in mind these very simple words: sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
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